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Vibrators Outlawed in Mississipi. But Guns Still Mandatory

In a stunning legislative move, the Supreme Court of Mississippi (which consists of three men named Billy Bob and a cocker spaniel) banned the sale, advertising, or exhibiting of any three-dimensional device used primarily for the stimulation of human genitalia.

The landmark decision makes sex toy possession a felony punishable by up to 5 years in prison and/or a $75 fine. Once the controversia More..l law passed, Mississippi's governor Haley Barbour authorized several sting operations across the state to rid Mississippi of the phallic threat to southern life, a threat second only to terrorism in these dangerous and vulnerable times.

At an adult store named Good Vibrations on the east side of Jackson, several undercover policemen witnessed the sale of not one, not two, but 18 individual sex toys during lunch hour earlier this week. "Things were really buzzing at the store," commented store owner Gale McFarland from behind bars in the Jackson state prison for women. "None of us realized that the hot men in trench coats were cops. We thought they were Atlanta metrosexuals in the market for some new anal plugs. When they asked to frisk us, we just thought they were ordinary perverts," said the 61 year old grandmother of four. McFarland and her employees are eligible for parole in 2010.
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