1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
C. Taking the pigskin bus to Tuna Town.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you have both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five Tequila slammers.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You do not miss ESPN Sports Center.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife need ever find out.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you have just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she has gained five pounds in the last
month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem; she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
7. You think today's sensitive caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. I hope we can still be friends.
B. I am not in right now; please leave a message at the beep.
C. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU.
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE
If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy. You are a little confused.
If you answered C more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN!!!
In: Other Entertainment
Tags: sensitivity, tuna, bus, pigskin, sex, joke, humoe, Obama is an Idiot
Location: United States (load item map)
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