(Washington, D.C.) Guests at a recent White House garden party were forced to listen to four hours of Conway Twitty after President Bush said, “Hey, the only thing this shin-dig is missin’ is a mess o’ tunes.” The President then returned with a record player and the vintage Twitty vinyl. Guests pretended to enjoy such “hits” as “Hello Darlin’” and “Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man.,” until Vice President Dick Cheney feigned a heart attack to bring the four hour torture session to an end.