ATTENTION, MUSLIMS: HOW TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS IN 12 EASY STEPS:
1. Stop blaming America. It’s your fault. Not ours.
2. Recognize Israel. Despite what your propaganda says, the Jews are nice and amiable people and will gratefully trade their knowledge and products with you. The territorry of Israel was a desert in 1948. Now it’s the most productive land in the Middle East. The territorry of the West Bank and Gaza was fertile land. Now it’s a shithole. It’s not the land. It’s how you use it.
3. Have your universities teach things more meaningful than Islamic studies. American power isn’t derived from Christian fundamentalism. It’s derived from the way our system rewards inventiveness, which is why we’re at the cutting edge.
4. Stop subjugating women. You’re depriving your countries of half the human resources.
5. Stop control of the press. The American gov
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