How do you know if music is good or bad? Godly or Satanic?

Alan Ives, Music Minister of Wyldewood Baptist Church in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, like the voice of one crying in the wilderness, proclaims the simple and irrefutable scripturally-based truth of this tragically misunderstood subject matter.

You adherents to the Boogie Woogie are abetting an attempt to move a spiteful Idolatry from the hermetical fringe into a realm of righteous respectability. Before the fleshmongering whores of Back Beat rhythms initiated their libertine practices, Worship presumed a renouncing of hubris, hedonism, dancing and other orgies of the flesh--and all forms of depravity born of diabolical rhythms. True Believers must repudiate the Boogie Woogie and the redefining of unbridled self-indulgence as a holy virtue, and return to marching for the Lord!