10 good reasons to ban guns
1.) Guns are used in self-defense over 2 million times a year. However, this makes the attempted crime a "non-event," which necessarily complicates the Police investigation. Without civilian ownership of guns, these Police investigations would not have been compromised. Civilians should leave crime prevention to the Police, who are properly equipped to investigate following the crime's completion.
2.) Some .004 % (4/1000 of 1%) of guns are used in crime each year. This is way too high.
All guns should be banned
3.) Guns are unnecessary. In 98% of civilian gun defenses, no shot is fired. If you are not going to fire a shot, you clearly don't need a gun. This proves that the guns are unnecessary. Banning guns will prevent these unnecessary defenses.
4.) Guns cause criminal migration. In tough gun-law Washington, D. C., violent crime rates are very high. This high crime rate is caused by the migration of criminals from gun havens like Virginia. This migration is caused by the criminal's cowardly avoidance of armed householders and concealed-carry civilians. This criminal migration is detrimental to helpless unarmed citizens in no-gun areas and must be stopped. Guns should be banned everywhere.
5.) Most gun crimes are committed by inner city gangs and drug dealers. These relatively small and geographically restricted groups consistently commit the majority of gun crimes, which usually peak as turf wars erupt over Drug War changes. The best way to prevent this is by denying guns to all law abiding people everywhere.
6.) No woman needs to protect herself from rape, assault or murder. The Police will protect women by investigating the crime after the fact. Remember, Police paperwork is all the protection anyone really needs.
7.) Guns owners are disrespectful of authority. Good citizens should completely rely on the authorities. A failure to do so is an invariable sign of improper and overly independent attitudes. Failure to completely and absolutely trust and depend on the authorities is excessive democracy and sends a bad message to children.
8.) Guns owners engaging in self-defense are taking the law into their own hands. This is wrong. Only the Police and Criminals have the right to take the law into their own hands. Guns should be kept out of the hands of law abiding citizens.
9.) Children and young people should remain ignorant about guns. Real guns and real gun knowledge dissipate the fantasies created by violent video games and TV. Ignorance, once lost, can never be restored and needs to be protected.
Not to mention the lost sales of all the violent movies, TV shows, video games, etc!
10.) Guns reduce people's reliance on the Police and Government. This fosters a mistaken belief in "rights". No person has the right to question authority. No person should be less than 100% dependent on authority. This is fundamental to social order. Banning guns will help to establish the Order the authorities want. This is good.
Click to view image: '3e18434ce899-s_99e8e23009e9e5a267a2bf56d965df21.jpg'
By: morelman2
In: Arts and Entertainment
Tags: Guns, bans, humor, 2A, Constitution
Marked as: approved
Views: 14196 | Comments: 97 | Votes: 21 | Favorites: 5 | Shared: 51 | Updates: 0 | Times used in channels: 1
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One reason to OWN a gun: In 95 percent (more or less) of the cases...by the time police arrive...the crime is already OVER! The Police only clean up the mess...
Posted Feb-9-2009 Bywindigo (139.98) 
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(8)
Thats right and your loved ones are dead by then.
Posted Feb-10-2009 BySeanwk (32.70) 
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I can't believe all the morons "reading" this and writing angry comments who don't realize this is a satirical piece very much in favor of gun ownership. Folks, are you commenting on the title without reading the piece, or maybe functionaly illiterate, or did you just pass high school reading comprehension by the skin of your teeth?
I'm a gun owner and I back the Second Amendment 100%. But I've got to say that many of the comments here make gun owners look like idiots.
Posted Feb-9-2009 Byjohn731863 (512.02) 
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(8)
Why do I have the urge to clean my guns now.
Posted Feb-9-2009 Byhlabrake (678.24) hlabrake View Channel Send Message
(7)
Buy mine in the gallon jugs ...... they make good targets after the stuff get all "fouled"!
Posted Feb-9-2009 ByRockfordBull (211.54) 
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(2)
This is clearly supportive of Gun Rights. It's obviously a sarcastic post meant to show you how stupid it would be to ban guns.
Posted Feb-9-2009 Bysicilian82 (13.04) 
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(6)
A sincere thanks to the Founding Fathers for recognizing that every citizen should have the right to keep and bear firearms. The best reason for the Second Amendment is to keep an oppresive government at bay. And just for the record... I'm not picking on the Democrats. I don't trust the Republican party either.
Posted Feb-9-2009 Byspinner223 (59.94) spinner223 View Channel Send Message
(6)
Great parody!!!! Used some of these myself in answer to illogical antigunners.
Posted Feb-9-2009 Byfuzzy620 (132.00) 
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(6)
When SECONDS count - the police are only MINUTES away!
Be ARMED! Be SAFE!
Posted Feb-9-2009 Byspadata (893.90) 
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(5)
It's always better to be tried by 12 then carried by 6....
Lock and load!
Posted Feb-9-2009 By2531USMC (62.64) 
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(3)
Not very many people here seem understand satire. Go to settings, scroll down, look for the "irony filter" pull down box. Select "off." Now scroll down to "enable sub-text between the lines" and select "yes". Now save your changes. Go to the next tongue and cheek post and you should be able to successfully read the text that is dripping with sarcasm.
Posted Feb-9-2009 By35frank (411.40) 35frank View Channel Send Message
(5)
Too bad that I can't "fav" comments to read (or link to) later.
That was a keeper, friend.
Posted Feb-9-2009 ByBlech (558.20) 
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(2)
Righteous post! My only issue is that I can't decide which model to buy next!
Posted Feb-9-2009 Bycopperdog2 (190.62) 
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(5)
"From my cold, dead hands, MF."
911: When seconds count. Police are only minutes away.
Posted Feb-9-2009 Byneomuttley (73.76) neomuttley View Channel Send Message
(4)
It's a facetious post, he's being sarcastic guys. It's pro gun. LOL @ the guys who missed the sarcasm.
Posted Feb-9-2009 Bymichael567 (1937.60) michael567 View Channel Send Message
(4)
sometimes the comments are funnier than the post.Voted
Posted Feb-9-2009 Byvicemagnet (1355.74) 
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