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Funny divorce letter.

THIS IS FAKE. IT'S JUST A JOKE. I HAVE TO PUT THIS UP BECAUSE EVERYITME I POST SOMETHING THAT IS MEANT FOR LAUGHS, SOME ASSHAT HAS TO RUIN IT FOR US. THANK YOU, HAVE A NICE DAY.

:)



Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that yo quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!



Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.


Click to view image: '119182-HappyDivorceFemale.jpg'

Added: Nov-13-2007 
By: menolikey
In:
Arts and Entertainment
Tags: humor, divorce, husaband, wife, funny
Views: 18032 | Comments: 33 | Votes: 2 | Favorites: 4 | Shared: 1 | Updates: 0 | Times used in channels: 1
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  • And this is supposed to be funny how?

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

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  • HostilityIndex: "
    sluggoo: "
    HostilityIndex: "
    sluggoo: "
    menolikey: "^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)"
    some ppl....ya just can't reach meno......

    I thought I had it bad. that is the start of a very bad day"
    Yup. Well beyond reach, I'd say.

    "
    thats fine. you and your ref More..
    I can hang wherever I want. Do you really think that people should stick around on their comfort zone?

    And, I must say, I'm totally in awe by that oh so thoughtful quip of "whiney little snatch." Did your mum teach you that?

    "
    fine, do whatever you want, you are entitled.

    no, I think ppl should go wherever they want, just seems odd to me that if someone sees a vid or a comment that they dislike, they keep returning to that thread to complain, but I know, you're silly like that :-)

    ohh and ........ouch.....you really got me with that mom joke. right out of the 8th grade. well done
    "Author......Author"

    *fading appaluse"

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

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  • ^ Probably; considered an "asshat" (what a lame, overused term, just like pwned!) for my opinion.

    I guess one's opinion must meet with the "norm" here?

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

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  • Funny, Meno.

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

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  • ^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

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  • Comment of user 'disfigure' has been deleted by author (after account deletion)!
  • I liked it. Although your opening comment was about as good as the joke..lol.

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

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  • Comment of user 'UKatheist' has been deleted by author (after account deletion)!
  • Lol - gave me a giggle anyway :)

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

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  • That a$$hole....that biatche!

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

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  • menolikey: "^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)"
    some ppl....ya just can't reach meno......

    I thought I had it bad. that is the start of a very bad day

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • lol

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • menolikey: "^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)"
    LOL! If she won the lotto in a community property state while still married, it is half his...them be the breaks. Funny post meno.

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • HostilityIndex: "
    menolikey: "^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)"
    Nah. My sense of humor is just more refined.

    "
    Oh...pleeeese! Have a humour op lately... Do you listen to Leonard Cohen?

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • LOL

    Voted.

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • Why not avoid all this, just dont get married. for 9 couples of 10 it is just STUPID. if i happen to hear about somebody i know getting married, it is all i can do not to burst into laughter.

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • menolikey: "^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)"
    Nah. My sense of humor is just more refined.

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • OWNED!!!!!!

    Posted Nov-14-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • sluggoo: "
    menolikey: "^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)"
    some ppl....ya just can't reach meno......

    I thought I had it bad. that is the start of a very bad day"
    Yup. Well beyond reach, I'd say.

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • menolikey, i have a Greek equivalent of This story and i'll upload it...


    sooo that is Freedom and Happiness for women? lotto???
    XD
    someone who has really won the lotto would NEVER EVER say that. i know families who won the lotto, women with Great Wealth, who lead the Saddest of lives.
    believe me.
    those shit there are an illusion.
    let alone silly.

    get your shit together. if you don't like men, you can be a lesbian, they have strap-ons n shit now, feel free, be my guest.

    Posted Nov-17-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • WHY DOES DIVORCE COST SO MUCH? BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT! GOOD POST MENO!

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • HostilityIndex: "
    sluggoo: "
    menolikey: "^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)"
    some ppl....ya just can't reach meno......

    I thought I had it bad. that is the start of a very bad day"
    Yup. Well beyond reach, I'd say.

    "
    thats fine. you and your refined sense of humor can go else where More..

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • sluggoo: "
    HostilityIndex: "
    sluggoo: "
    menolikey: "^^^^^

    i don't like the term pwned either, or own3d or
    any other way there is to put it. it's lame.

    as for this post, i guess we just have different
    sense of humor, i have one and you don't. lol

    cheers :)"
    some ppl....ya just can't reach meno......

    I thought I had it bad. that is the start of a very bad day"
    Yup. Well beyond reach, I'd say.

    "
    thats fine. you and your refined sense of humor ca More..
    I can hang wherever I want. Do you really think that people should stick around on their comfort zone?

    And, I must say, I'm totally in awe by that oh so thoughtful quip of "whiney little snatch." Did your mum teach you that?

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • I've seen this before and it's still just as great each time I read it. Good post meno!

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report

  • I think HostilityIndex gets off just trying to quash a good mood. Didn't work on me. Meno, I laughed out loud!

    Posted Nov-13-2007 By 

    (0) | Report