Democrats know all too well that making inroads in traditionally conservative states can be hard. And indeed, trying to appeal to the constituents in those states has led to a number of experimental campaign methods designed to reach those voters. Sometimes those ideas work. Other times, they don’t.



And sometimes they’re cringe-inducingly awful. Like this new video, released by the campaign of Utah House candidate Ryan Combe, which manages to simultaneously come off as defensive and sanctimonious while making the younger generation look unfathomably naive in the process:



This poor soul doesn’t even have the luxury of laughing at the ad, which will probably drive thousands of parents of college-aged children into the GOP. After all, the young man in the video sounds exactly like so many other young people who come home after having taken an American Studies class in college, and get into a huge shouting match at the Thanksgiving Table. But since we’re gluttons for punishment, let‘s try revising this ad so it’s more honest. The following sentences in bold are actual claims about what the Democratic party believes that the ad makes. Our revisions follow.



“I just want to help those less fortunate than I am.”



…by making it illegal to feed the homeless.



“I don’t want my student loan rates to go up…”



Which is why I support a party that turns down deals to stop precisely that.



“…but not at the expense of women and children’s preventative health care.”



…especially not “preventative health care” that stops women from having children in the first place.



“We should tax the oil companies to better fund education.”



…even though gas prices have only just started falling, and higher education has become an unsustainable bubble.



“I believe that men and women in this country deserve equal rights, and equal opportunity under the law.”


It just amazes me how STUPID DEMOCRATS are.