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Religious People... 
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Added: Feb-18-2013 Occurred On: Feb-18-2013
By: Eyebanez
In: Other Entertainment, Other Items from Liveleakers, Religion
Tags: Crazy, Derpers, Religious, Nuts, Silly, Child, Like, Minds
Location: United States (load item map)
Marked as: approved, featured
Views: 34161 | Comments: 1036 | Votes: 20 | Favorites: 21 | Shared: 649 | Updates: 0 | Times used in channels: 3
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  • One time I was late for a job interview, and when I got there, there were no parking spots. I was desperate. I prayed. I said, "God, I know I've doubted your existence, and I don't deserve it, but if you find me a parking spot I'll become a devout Christian." At that very moment, a car right in front of me vacated a parking spot. And I said, " never mind, I found one."

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    Ithinkthat1 (1252.80)  

    (66)

  • I guess God decided all the kids in Africa etc can go fuck themselves and starve to death. Conceit is the co-pilot for most religious nuts: "God blessed ME. I'M special." (Everyone else isn't.)

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    incuriousgeorge (27.40)  

    (43)

    • @incuriousgeorge They will say that this happens for a reason and now the starving kids will be angels. That of course, puts the religious nuts into a more "intellectually" difficult position as it gives a whole new meaning to life and death or even murder. If people dying in an unfair way is OK and god's mysterious ways, then why do they try philanthropy? its all bullshit, feeding weak minds...

      Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
      nostromo84 (210.30)  

      (5)

    • @incuriousgeorge
      not to mention children getting cancer... if there is a god, he is one sadistic fuck and can quite frankly go fuck himself

      Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
      slamminsammy (1189.40)  

      (11)

    • @incuriousgeorge

      According to the bible all of mankind is in sin and therefore under God's just wrath. Therefore God is at liberty to bestow His grace upon whomsoever He wills without obligation.

      Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
      FillTheVoid (1207.18)  

      (-12)

    • @nostromo84

      Your problem is that you believe man is innocent before God - however the scripture makes it plain that we are not according to God.

      There is nothing "unfair" about a sinful being suffering.

      Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
      FillTheVoid (1207.18)  

      (-11)

    • @FillTheVoid
      so kids dieing for no reason(cancer, famine) are sinful?

      FUUUUCCCKKKK OOFFFFFF

      Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
      slamminsammy (1189.40)  

      (16)

  • "praying for an 8 ball of coke and a Philippine hooker to show up at my door"

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    Mr Rager (869.90)  

    (27)

  • Religion is CANCER of Earth. Truth and knowledge is power. Knowledge requires "effort" to achieve, faith does not. Believing is "lazy" and the easy wrong way. Religion is blaming others for your problems, and relying on someone else for you actions. Religion is suppression of true knowledge.
    Religion is for SUCKERS, Knowledge is for ACHIEVERS!!!!!

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    ILOVEBACON8 (230.80)  

    (25)

  • "An one time my momma went into the bedroom with the preacher and came out with $100 in her back pocket. Praise the Lord and his almighty miracles!!"

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    One_Hit_Wonder (155.80)  

    (19)

  • It was only 2,500 years ago that we believed that the sun was a god and measured its orbit with stone towers built on the top of a hill. Today the language of curiosity is not sun gods, but science. And we have observatories that are almost infinitely more sophisticated than those towers, that can gaze out deep into the universe. And perhaps even more remarkably through theoretical physics and mathematics we can calculate what the universe will look like in the distant future. And we can even ma More..

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    MudMan (119.60)  

    (15)

  • I prayed for gas once and now I can't stop farting

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    DeLarge (70.20)

    (12)

    • Comment of user 'Amber leaf' has been deleted by author!

  • I was at home so horny and prayed to god "please send me some pussy" I heard a knock at the door I opened it and found a jar of Vaseline and tissues and a note that said "god helps those that help themselves"

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    critterchops (175.24)  

    (8)

  • "There was no food in the cupboards" He sure as shit made up for it when he grew up didnt he the fat cunt.

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    paulc07 (311.10)  

    (8)

  • I asked God for a bike, but He doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    absolutdani (58.16)  

    (7)

  • Groceries= she was part of an outreach program. Gas= Mom parked on a hill.
    Praise Jesus.

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    floydbc05 (268.80)  

    (7)

  • Lying for jesus. The end justifies the means. Just Lying for jesus.

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    mortenaarhus (151.28)

    (6)

  • Evidence that the personal god is bullshit: Joseph Fritzel's daughter was religious. For years she prayed for help. 24 Years she was in that cellar. 24 YEARS! Where was god through all of that? Answer: Nowhere, he doesn't exist.

    But he fills up some woman's gas tank when she needs to drive somewhere!

    Time to rid our society of these moronic beliefs.

    Posted Feb-19-2013 By 
    Militant Saganist (28.60)
    Militant Saganist
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    (6)

    • @Militant Saganist well said

      Posted Feb-20-2013 By 
      thomasandmisi (136.52)  

      (0)

    • @Militant Saganist Well, it's obvious that god had other plans for her. She was a sacrifice and now she is a cute little angel up in heaven. She is sitting on a golden swing and playing with thousands of cute little puppies in the land of our father.

      Now, give me your money and I can promise you will be there with her one day.

      NOT.

      Posted Feb-20-2013 By 
      Kregman (125.80)  

      (0)

  • A devout athiest is on a hunting trip in the North woods, it's cold and snowing. The athiest crosses a small stream and starts into a heavily wooded area when he startles a huge brown bear. The bear, startled raises up on his hind legs and roars exposing very large teeth, he also swipes at the hunter with his razor sharp claws. The athiest drops his rifle in the snow and falls to his knees yelling, God please help me. All of a sudden every things stops, the snow quits falling, the stream stops More..

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    RETICLEVIEW (408.78)  

    (6)

  • The good lord will provide you with everything you need. But he needs your money! lolz

    Posted Feb-18-2013 By 
    OneDeath (334.32)

    (6)