The end of hand cramps. Or, a wife's favorite headache cure. You decide. This was just too funny. No distasteful jokes will be deleted. Do your best there LLers. Show me what you've got! --cd3

Original Link:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2206613/Chinese-hospitals-introduce-hands-free-automatic-sperm-extractor-donors-play-videos-help.html
By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
Chinese hospitals are introducing a new machine which can extract sperm for donors.
According to China’s Weibo social platform the automatic sperm extractors are being introduced in a Nanjing hospital, capital of Jiangsu province.
The pink, grey and white machine has a massage pipe at the front which apparently can be adjusted according to the height of its user.
Speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature are also controllable.
It has a small screen on the top which plays films for the user to help them with the extraction process.
The director of the urology department at Zhengzhou Central Hospital said the machine was being used by infertility patients who are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.
A website which is selling the machine for $2,800 promoting it stating 'it can give patients very comfortable feeling.'

By: copperdog3
In: Other
Tags: Sperm, extraction, donation, hands-on, Obama, just kidding, satisfaction
Location: China (load item map)
Marked as: approved, repost
Views: 3345 | Comments: 43 | Votes: 1 | Favorites: 0 | Shared: 0 | Updates: 0 | Times used in channels: 1
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Sloppy seconds anyone?
Posted Sep-22-2012 Bybrat_boy (64.10) 
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(4)
Definitely cheaper than finding a woman you hate and buying her a house.
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByJibberJabber (249.00) 
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(3)
If it could clean the house and make my dinner it would be a good exchange for the wife!
Posted Sep-22-2012 Byddonn54 (98.30) 
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@ddonn54 ah bollocks, didn't read first, you beat me to it..
Posted Sep-22-2012 Bymclane (388.18) 
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If I can program it to make dinner then the wifes bags are being packed!!!
Posted Sep-22-2012 Bymclane (388.18) 
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Someone has to put a rapex condom in it for shits and giggles.
Posted Sep-22-2012 Bysungam (1340.98) 
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@sungam
LoL! I know there a few South Africans here that have them laying around!
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByBthor420 (829.10) 
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Three thousand dollars? hmmm
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByRoach1983 (1253.76) Roach1983 View Channel Send Message
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@Roach1983 Was doin' the math also. You know how many ? you could buy with that cash?
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByPoosti Malaka (1084.00) 
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@DirtyUncleBerty I'll sell ya mine - just slightly used.
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByPoosti Malaka (1084.00) 
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I'd love to have been a fly-on-the-wall at R&D meetings.
Could I keep a straight face? Nope.
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByFredFerret (354.78) 
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@FredFerret
probably be an interesting job for the salesmen too!
Posted Sep-22-2012 Bypara782 (166.24) 
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the Ihole new from Apple. It love you long time.
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByNuckelhed (308.30) 
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I want one.
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByKULLPRIT (67.50) 
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Really no different than the way people extract semen from a bull or a horse. Same thing.
But yeah to us it's pretty hilarious lol
Posted Sep-22-2012 Bydarkl3ad3r (88.20) 
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@darkl3ad3r By fucking livestock?
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByPoosti Malaka (1084.00) 
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What, no cup holders?
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByUSA1 (3680.24) 
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@USA1
sick man. just sick... even for this venue. ;P)
Posted Sep-22-2012 Bycopperdog3 (1036.74) 
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if you paid a nurse those $2800 to strap on some latex gloves you'll probably get 10 times more donors! why they need so much sperm anyway doctors can just jack themselves off
Posted Sep-22-2012 Byviral_jail_food (104.30) 
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it will rip your dick off i wonder what movies it plays
Posted Sep-22-2012 Bymaxwellthebest (757.80) 
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@maxwellthebest Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Posted Sep-22-2012 ByPoosti Malaka (1084.00) 
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