In these dark times of economic collapse, incompetent government, rising threats from pikeys and ragheads, isn't it great to hear some good news?
Well, here we go, then: physicists have proved that vampires don't exist:
Two physicists have published an academic paper where they demonstrate, by virtue of geometric progression, that vampires could not exist, since they would almost immediately deplete their entire food supply (a.k.a, all of us).
Very droll, you might think. But no, they are perfectly serious:
Efthimiou and Gandhi conduct a thought experiment: Assume that the first vampire appeared on January 1, 1600. At that time, according to data available at the U.S. Census website, the global population was 536,870,911. Efthimiou and Gandhi calculate that, once the Nosferatu feeding frenzy began, the entire human race would have been wiped out by June 1602 (thus forever c
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