Safe Mode: On
Just a little poke @ the English
 Part of channel(s): Yoursay (promoted)

Wha's like us? Damn few and they're a' deid

The average Englishman in the home he calls hi castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland

En route to his office he rides along the English lane surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr Scotland.

He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, a Vetenary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.

At the office he recieves the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.

At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrik Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill Dumfriesshire, Scotland.

He watches the news on the T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentionedin the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised its translation.

He could take a drink but the Scots make the best in the world.

He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with Penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.

Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning the he was safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask -


Added: Jan-4-2009 
By: The_Fly_UK
In:
Your Say
Tags: ENGLISH, SCOTTISH,
Views: 8673 | Comments: 15 | Votes: 1 | Favorites: 0 | Shared: 0 | Updates: 0 | Times used in channels: 3
You need to be registered in order to add comments! Register HERE
Sort by: Newest first | Oldest first | Highest score first
Liveleak opposes racial slurs - if you do spot comments that fall into this category, please report them for us to review.
  • LOL, nice one FLY.

    And most importantly we can laugh at ourselves eh.

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (1) | Report

  • haah ya cheeky we lad ! good post bud ! made me smile

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (0) | Report

  • LOL!

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (0) | Report

  • The Scots give us someone to laugh at, all good really.

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (0) | Report

  • Mind you,
    Scottish humour is great too,
    for example -
    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=9c7_1202340613

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (0) | Report

  • heh heh heh. nice one...

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (0) | Report

  • The Scots WERE very inventive.
    So what happened?
    Have they invented anything since the onset of the computer age?

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (0) | Report

  • HAHAHAHA, The Sassenach has a lot to thank us for, bunch of bloody ingrates;

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (0) | Report

  • Man alive, not this %u201CEnglishman walking down the road invention list%u201D list again!!

    Why the obsession with Englishmen, by the way? Are we the only ones that use the earth changing invention of a thermos flask?

    %u201CThe average Englishman, in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.%u201D

    Why the sneering reference to a castle? This is a proverb suggesting your home should be More..

    Posted Mar-5-2009 By 

    (0) | Report

  • Comment of user 'The_Fly_UK' has been deleted by author (after account deletion)!
  • Deep fried Mars bar , probably oor greatest .

    Posted Jan-4-2009 By 

    (-1) | Report

  • err, alexander graham bell DIDNT create the phone, he stole the idea while working in a patent office, was taken to court by the original inventor died before winning the case so bell was the first to STEAL the idea. i agree with most of this even though its one sided and its all in good humour anyway. good to know though!

    Posted Jan-5-2009 By 

    (-1) | Report