Wha's like us? Damn few and they're a' deid
The average Englishman in the home he calls hi castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland
En route to his office he rides along the English lane surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, a Vetenary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he recieves the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.
During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrik Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill Dumfriesshire, Scotland.
He watches the news on the T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.
He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentionedin the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised its translation.
He could take a drink but the Scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours Scotland.
If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with Penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning the he was safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask -
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