In a Washington D.C. news conference, archeologists working for the Smithsonian Institution have announced an incredible discovery, a revised copy of the U.S Constitution dated 1790, that was passed by the original 13 States and was supposed to supplant the version that was ratified in 1788. The Chief Archeologist on the project named the document "the Dead Potomac River Scrolls," because they were found in a previously unknown cave on the bank of the Potomac.
According to the scientists, a 13-year-old boy named Zach Emanuel was walking his dog near the river, threw a stick and and heard some glass shatter. He followed the noise into the cave and found the document amongst some broken beer bottles left over from some ancient beer summit. Scientists determined the cave was once occupied by some ancient cult of prognosticators. On the cave wall was a drawing of someone who looked exactl
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