- Register |
- Login |
- Premium Memberships |
- Audio & Video Chat |
- Top Leakers |
- Faq |
- Contact Us |
- Set As Homepage |
- Advanced Search
- Sections:
- All |
- News/Politics |
- Middle East (Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran..) |
- Entertainment |
- Celebrity |
- Education |
- Citizen Journalism
It's a Conspiracy!
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
We Must Stop This Immediately
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror..
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days.. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!
All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
-=-=-
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.
-=-=-
Added: Nov 5 2009 In: entertainment
By: spadata 
- Tags:
- conspiracy,
- humor,
- old age
- Views: 561 |
- Votes: 0 |
- Recommendations: 0 |
- Comments: 13
- |
- Send to Friends |
Comments - sort by newest to oldest
Ah yes, the conspiracy of getting old.
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "Vekurus" (R)
"I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age."
Is that a quote from Yogi Berra?
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "loofmot" (R)
haha, I think you nailed it.
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "adrook" (R)
I see proof of this every day :-)
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "Ruffus" (R)
wait for it...wait for it...any second now, some lib is gonna say..........IT'S BUSHES FAULT
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "star53" (R)
Me too... with the help of eyeglasses, of course.
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "loofmot" (R)
Ha! They used to deliver my newspaper to my front door. Now I have them deliver it right to me...in the bathroom.
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "sloop" Premium
LOL great one sloop!
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "brako" (R)
Meds......
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "68meiou1" (R)
It's all part of a conspiracy to enslave mankind by the illuminati. You know, along with all that stuff like the banking system, universal health care, professional sports, vaccinations and all kind of stuff
Posted Nov-5-2009 by "late_cretaceous" (R)
Oh please be quiet, it`s humour. Or are you programmed to slate anything mentioning CONSPIRACY ?
Posted Nov-6-2009 by "neilanboy" (R)
Oh please be quiet, it`s humour. Or are you programmed to slate anything mentioning CONSPIRACY ?
humour - so was my remark
Posted Nov-6-2009 by "late_cretaceous" (R)
Oh please be quiet, it`s humour. Or are you programmed to slate anything mentioning CONSPIRACY ?
humour - so was my remark
liar lol
Posted Nov-8-2009 by "666slayer" (R)