Dear Prez,

I was recently party to a conversation between a bunch of guys who
were complaining that they didn’t get enough head from their
girlfriends. I also read your blog and noticed you guys bring up the
issue often too. A quick check with my boyfriend confirmed it – he used
to have to “beg” his ex for head. Honestly i think its bullshit that
this is even an issue. So I thought I’d write out a few tips, from a
chick’s perspective, for the Stoolies out there who want more head from
their girlfriends or hookups, but aren’t sure how to prompt their girl
to cooperate. I know that some girls are impossible, but most just feel
uncomfortable, unsure, or just plain “don’t like doing it”. Guys might
be contributing to this problem without even knowing it (yes, girls are
oversensitive. thats not new). Take it or leave it, but here are a few
things guys should keep in mind if they want their girl going down on
them more than once every few months (years?).
Keep it trimmed. This is self-explanatory. There’s
nothing worse than trying to concentrate on getting a dick all wet and
slippery and suddenly feeling a pube floating around in your mouth. I’m
sure guys have to deal with this too, and yes the door swings both
ways. Bottom line: we all know it makes a huge difference when
everything is trimmed and sanitary, so please keep everything that way.



Giving compliments and saying thank you goes a long way: It
makes more of an impact than you would think. Short story – in my early
college days I was casually hooking up with a guy and decided to go
down on him one night. It was completely overwhelming. He was huge,
and had been drinking some too so he took forever to cum. I swear I
almost died twice and came up sputtering and exhausted, swearing to
myself I would never do it again. But then he told me it was the best
head he had ever gotten, and that I was amazing. Holy shit. All I
wanted to do from then on was give him head. I look back and laugh at
myself. Who knows if I was actually any good, but that smart
son-of-a-bitch actually got me excited to give him head by giving me
compliments. Game. Set. Match.
This can probably work before she goes down on you too. Just make
sure to follow up after, and make sure it sounds genuine, no matter how
good or bad she really was. “Please” and “thank you” never hurts
either.



Never EVER put your hand on the back of her head: Whoever
started this should be shot. You push her head down on you, you guide
her in and out, and here’s what you’re saying: 1) I see you only as a
sex object; and 2) you’re not any good at giving head on your own. Even
if both are true, they are not what you want to be conveying if you want
her to go back down there in the future. Besides, it’s super
uncomfortable and will make us gag a lot. It also encourages poor
performance. You want a girl who has no idea what to do, who can only
go up and down when guided? She’ll figure it out, just give her a
chance to.
Give her a warning: No one likes a surprise cum
shot, especially if your girl is uncomfortable or hates giving head in
the first place. Don’t give her an excuse to not go down on you. Give
her a warning that you’re close, and make it clear when she’s done. Be a
gentleman and get her a tissue or drink or something. Wait until she’s
comfortable before cuming on her.
Let her know it’s important: If it’s something that
you need, make it clear early on. Don’t be an asshole about it, but its
ok to tell a girl that you really enjoy getting head. Its also ok to ask
for head. If she blatantly ignores you or refuses, even if you’re
doing all these things, and you’re truly unhappy, then consider cutting
your losses and moving on.
Get a puppy: It can’t hurt. Girls automatically want to do more for a guy with a dog. I don’t know why and I can’t explain it.


A quick word to the ladies out there that I know are reading this
blog. I could give you a million reasons why it’s important to give
your man more head. Most importantly, it makes him happy! I honestly
don’t understand any excuses for slacking off here. This includes the
“I have a really sensitive gag reflex” excuse. Suck it up girls,
literally. It’s really not a lot to ask. I give my boyfriend head at
least once a day and honestly thats a bare minimum. What do you think
halftimes/ intermissions/ 7th inning stretches/ commercial breaks are
for anyway?
Viva La Stool,