(February 05, 2011 9:07AM EST) CNN-WASHINGTON D. C.- The Obama administration has given an official warning to the Republic of Finland that any attempt at trying to oust the United States government and that country will face severe penalties. The warning comes on the heels of recently discovered and confiscated evidence showing proof that Finland has been planning and training for a takeover of the United States government for the past twenty five years. Despite the evidence, Finland denies the accusations. Obama gave the warning during a speech he was making to the N.A.A.C.P. entitled “A Black President And We Are Still Robbing Convenience Stores-WTF?”
This evidence, which the government of Finland has kept a secret for over thirty years, details all aspects of a plan to overthrow the U.S. government and place Finnish leaders in Washington. The most damning and telling evidence is an instructional video used to train the Finnish governments undercover operatives that were going to be used as the primary forces that would enter the states and begin the coup. The training these operatives were receiving was so intensive that had the plot succeeded the lives of U.S. citizens would have been changed drastically and improved immensely. The disturbing video was made by Aditya Shlonggonecruzen who is well known as a cross dressing underground military leader of the Finnish Underground Combat Klan (F.U.C.K.) which is an organization that had been under scrutiny by the U.S. government for over seventy and a half years give or take a day. This disturbing video shows Shlonggonecruuzen and his partner Taina Clitorishazbenitchen instructing several locals from the small Finnish town of Lukunferutu Blowmeatknighttime in the art of mass mind control, hypnosis and torture techniques. U.S. authorities were notified of the existence of the video by a U.S. sympathizer and Finnish defector, Xander Skrotalsachangin, who came forward after being cornered and touched erotically in a stall of an undisclosed airport restroom by F.B.I. agents during a raid. The restroom was suspected of being the meeting place for members of the group Defending International Convicted Killers (D.I.C.K.) which is a Swedish splinter group composed of elderly incontinent Asian transvestites assisting F.U.C.K. in their takeover efforts. The raid was made after American intelligence determined that D.I.C.K. had been helping F.U.C.K. U.S. citizens in airport restrooms all over the world.
*CAUTION: This video may evoke strong emotions and reactions in some sensitive people which may include anger, fear, confusion, depression, headaches, erectile dysfunction, hair loss, numbness in toenails and teeth, difficulty closing mouth, inability to speak or speaking in tongues or speaking trying to use the tongue of another person, sudden desire to scream, sleepiness, sleeplessness, desire to prostitute, severe eye pain, penile shrinkage, desire to flee, nudity, crying, amnesia, testicular twitching, earwax buildup, anal itching, loss of bowel control, reduction in intelligence, addiction to bell bottom pants, nipple enlargement and leaking and a strong desire to get intoxicated and /or stoned and stay that way for as long as possible.
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