By Mark Donahue
Congressman Frank doing his Elmer Fudd "look"
NEW YORK – DreamWorks Studios announced today that they are in the
final stages of salary negotiations with Massachusetts Congressman
Barney Frank for their new Looney Tunes Bugs Bunny movie. Frank
is slated to play Elmer Fudd in the five hundred million dollar, two
part, six hour movie epic. The Congressman expressed interest in the
role when he heard that Bugs Bunny was going to be played by an actor
who has expressed conservative political views in the past. We talked
with Congressman Frank over brunch in the West Village where he was
visiting a friend.
“It was wight before our summer wecess,” he recalled, “and Hawwy Weid
took me aside and infowmed me that the character of Bugs Bunny was
going to be played by a wacially insensitive wight wing wepublican!”
The Daily Rash attempted to contact Steven Spielberg of
Dream Works, but our emails and phone calls were not returned. Several
people that we asked, that are affiliated with the project, are mum on
the identity of the so-called “politically conservative actor.”
“It’s a bit pwemature at this point to say that I have the woll
wapped up,” the Congressman said, as he voraciously gnawed at a
double-decker roast beef sandwich with a side of ham, bacon and sausage
fritters and a stack of blueberry pancakes. “Although, I have been in negotiations for quite some time.”
The Congressman slurped his chocolate malted.
“It is a woll I feel I am weady to begin wehearsing for,” he said,
pausing to choke down an over zealous bite of syrup and butter soaked
pancakes, “but the contwact has not yet been signed,” he added.Congressman Frank put aside his acting ambitions after failing to nail a role in Ain’t Misbehavin‘
several years ago. It was while watching videos of Tea Party
demonstrations that he became convinced that it was time for him to once
again pursue acting.
“I was sitting at home listening to a Linda Wonstadt CD and watching
Watchel Maddow with the sound down. As I watched those so called Tea
Pawties, where the wacists are vewy vocal about their lack of wespect
for our Pwesident, Senator John Kewwy happened to call me and suggest
that I offer my sewvices to Hollywood.”
He threw his hands up in the air, “If I were a weligous man, I would say it was a sign!”
The Congressman paused to wipe his brow.
“I’m not just a public wepwesentative you know. I’m also a wegulaw
pewson who is vewy anxious to see justice wetuwned to our movie
When the Congressman was asked how he felt about Bugs Bunny, he leaned back and thought for a moment, and then he sighed.
“If it’s twue that Bugs is now a wacist wight wing wepublican
wabbitt…if that is twue, then I will be happy to either put him in
pwison or woast him alive!”
The Congressman laughed a big booming belly laugh as he checked out a muscular construction worker walking by.
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