UK elections have been brightened for many years by the Monster Raving Loony party candidates. They are a real political party have beaten the BNP, NF, UKIP and greens in UK elections. They have even won an election or two. (in Parish & Town councils.) In the early 90s they held 16 elected council seats.
To mark this day The Official Monster Raving Loony Party is lauching our Manicfesto. Well thought out, Diverse and free from the knee jerk policies of the other parties we are confident that this manicfesto will stir the great British public to vote for us.
1. Health & Safety: We propose to ban Self Responsibilty on the grounds that it may be dangerous to your health.
2. M.P's Expenses: We propose that instead of a second home allowance M.P's will have a caravan which will be parked outside the Houses of Parliament. This will make it easier as flipping a caravan is easier than flipping homes
3. Eurofit: The European Constitution which will be sorted out by going for a long Walk. "As everyone knows that walking is good for the constitution"
4. The speaker in the House of Commons will be replaced by the latest audio equipment
5. To help the Israel/Palestinian Problem, we will get rid of the old road map, and replace it with a new sat nav instead
6. European Union: It is proposed that the European Union end its discrimination by creating a "Court of Human Lefts" because their present policy is one -sided.
7. Education: We will increase the number of Women teachers throughout the education System as we are strong believers of 'Female Intuition'
8. Immigration and Population: I propose that we cap the population of this country. We have too many people for such a small country, so we will Cap the number of people residing here at present rates (approximately 63 million, give or take 10 mill ) on the basis of one out, one in (excluding Births).
Regarding Immigration... Any Person who can prove that they or their descendants emigrated to the U.K before 55 A.D can stay. All the others will be repatriated to their original country. (Well we have to draw the line somewhere)
9. We will ban all forms of Greyhound racing. This will help stop the country going to the dogs.
10. Afghanistan, Iraq and the War on terror. Theirs nothing funny about this. however as we have not found any taliban terrorists in Derbyshire. Our Soldiers can all come home now.
We are proud to confirm that the 27 confirmed candidates representing true democracy are as follows:
Alan 'Howling Laud' Hope (Witney against David Cameron)
John Cartwright (Croydon Central)
Colin Dale (Buckingham)
Alan Powell (Ludlow)
Crucial Chris (Barking)
Tony Davies (Blackpool North)
George Ridgeon (Tewkesbury)
Martin Hogbin (Surrey East)
Mark Beech (Cardiff Central)
Napoleon Dynamite (Old Bexley & Sidcup)
R.U. Seerius (Derbyshire Mid)
Ken Hanks (Cheltenham)
Monkey Drummer (Kingston & Surbiton)
Top Cat Owen (Wokingham)
Flying Brick (Derbyshire Dales)
Chinners (Esher & Walton)
Mike Young (Sittingbourne & Sheppey)
Norman Davidson (Faversham & Mid Kent)
Toby Jug (Huntingdon)
Matt Fensome (Milton Keynes North)
Lord Offa (Brecon & Radnor)
Roger Monksummers (Dorset North)
Knigel Knapp (Hackney North & Stoke Newington)
Sam Thing (Amber Valley)
Baron Von Thunderclap (Mid Sussex)
Eddie 'Elvis' Vee (York)
Mark 'Zammo' Adshead (Sheffield Hallam against Nick Clegg)
Vote Loony - You know it makes sense
Click to view image: 'c9c3d646a48a-loonybadge1.jpg'
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