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Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

"I do not understand," reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. "A booming voice is saying, 'Let there be light,' but there is already light. It is saying, 'Let the earth bring forth grass,' but I am already standing on grass."

"Everything is here already," the pictograph continues. "We do not need more stars."

Historians believe that, immediately following the biblical event, Sumerian witnesses returned to the city of Eridu, a bustling metropolis built 1,500 years before God called for the appearance of dry land, to discuss the new development. According to records, Sumerian farmers, priests, and civic administrators were not only befuddled, but also took issue with the face of God moving across the water, saying that He scared away those who were traveling to Mesopotamia to participate in their vast and intricate trade system.

Moreover, the Sumerians were taken aback by the creation of the same animals and herb-yielding seeds that they had been domesticating and cultivating for hundreds of generations.

"The Sumerian people must have found God's making of heaven and earth in the middle of their well-established society to be more of an annoyance than anything else," said Paul Helund, ancient history professor at Cornell University. "If what the pictographs indicate are true, His loud voice interrupted their ancient prayer rituals for an entire week."

According to the cuneiform tablets, Sumerians found God's most puzzling act to be the creation from dust of the first two human beings.

"These two people made in his image do not know how to communicate, lack skills in both mathematics and farming, and have the intellectual capacity of an infant," one Sumerian philosopher wrote. "They must be the creation of a complete idiot."


Click to view image: 'e3a45aa96a2b-god.jpg'

Added: Mar-4-2010 Occurred On: Mar-4-2010
By: sal_monela
In:
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Tags: God, creationism, evolution, atheist, holly roller, Sumerians
Views: 5737 | Comments: 33 | Votes: 10 | Favorites: 3 | Shared: 0 | Updates: 0 | Times used in channels: 1
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  • Of course it's illogical and unnatural to believe an allmighty god created the universe. It was stupid to believe it 5000 years ago, but at least people back then had the excuse of being ignorant and illiterate.

    It's an artificial concept which people only accept through indoctrination or conformism.

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  • Pretty funny!

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  • LOL ! That's a keeper.

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  • Brilliant. Great find, Sal!

    Posted Mar-4-2010 By 

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  • HA HA HA...brilliant!

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  • WHAT EVER,SHOWS THE MIDDLE FINGER,YES THE 1 WHICH I USE TO PICK THE LEFTOVERS OF SHIT WHICH I DIDNT WIPE AWAY PROPERLEY,AS I WAS TAKING A DUMP IN A RELIGIOUS FREAKS MOUTH

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  • You left out the part where those brilliant Sumerians sacrificed themselves and others on their altars to their "gods". They're so smart.

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  • Why do people believe in something that was created to try and explain things people in the middle east didn't understand 2000 years ago? Why???

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  • Apparently this post really cut to the core. Good stuff. Voted!

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  • Cocks and who created Sumerians? Themselves yeah! knobs! I dont know where you get this idea that the earth was created 6k yrs ago? Its been made up like everything else in these sick Evilillutionists little mids again oh well.

    Posted Mar-4-2010 By 

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    • The bible says it! It has a complete genealogy starting with adam and eve and ends with Jesus Christ. If you add up all those generations with an average life expectancy (even a high one for those times) and the total will be around 4000 years between adam and eve and Jesus. Then add the 2000 years between the present and Christs death and you have a result of 6,000 years of history since earths creation.

      Which is simply pathetic considering not only the scientific evidence that puts earth age More..

      Posted Mar-8-2010 By 

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  • Holy Fuck!!! The anti-religion nuts are out in force this morning.

    Posted Mar-4-2010 By 

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    • Yes....because rejecting ridiculous mythology is nuts...?

      Thomas Jefferson: "Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions."

      Posted Mar-4-2010 By 

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    • I had hoped by now you'd have understood that I don't give a shit about your rediculous obsession with Christianity.

      You're a fucking freak who spends his days trolling the internet, spewing idiotic bullshit about religion. It seem your sole source of joy in your miserable life is in degrading spiritual people and their reigion.

      It's old and boring, and no one cares. Freak.

      Posted Mar-4-2010 By 

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    • As I had hoped you would have understood by now, that if you truely didn't care for my opinions, you'd simply ignore them.

      My life is far from miserable, fool. What's more I get joy from many many things. Chiefly, but by no means exclusivly amung them, ridiculing the pure idiocy of religous bullshit.

      Evidently you DO care about my opinion, if didn't you wouldn't see fit to critisize them, let alone adress me in doing so.

      I most certainly am a freak. That is something I take great pride More..

      Posted Mar-4-2010 By 

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    • You quoted me, dickwad. I was going about my day, ignoring you, when you sent me a message.

      Posted Mar-4-2010 By 

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    • Did I deny that? No.
      Did you care enough to reply? Yes.

      Thanks for caring. Caring is sharing.

      Jajajajaja! :D

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