Why did the Occupier cross the road?

Because his Mom called and said, “It’s time to come home, honey.”

Because ‘Ketchup’ broke her glasses during a fit of righteous crying and had to go to Lynz-Krafterz

Because some radicals thought “free love” meant “unsolicited surprise sex”

Because three homeless guys were occupying his tent "Help, police..."

[*]Because a few "more-equal-than-thous" (aka, Party people) appropriated [sic, smoked up] his stach for the Greater Good™ -- he had to score another bag of kind bud

[/*]

Because the police car looked like a port-o-john

-because the free free-range Tofu casserole was being served there.
-because the free condoms were there
-because the free clothing give away was there
-because the free Ben & Jerry's cart was there
-because the free STD clinic was there
-because the free forum for Womyn 's Studies and Queer Musicology majors was there.
-because his **** was stuck inside the chicken.
-to get away from the free soap.
-because when you live in a country where opportunities are for anyone who will work,
you cross the road to get to "the other side".
... Because ACORN was registering voters on the other side.
... So they could move their food tents away from the homeless.
... Because someone was handing out free Che Guevara T-Shirts.
... So they could break the hips of old ladies by pushing them down the stairs, and there are no stairs on their side.
... Because McDonald's job applications were being dumped on them, and job applications are poison.
... Because someone was distributing free Tofurkey (faux turkey made of tofu.. Blech).
... Because there are national TV cameras, and they want their 15 minutes of fame.
... Because there was an American flag to burn.
... So they could take their sweet time crossing, in order to block traffic.

Because someone shouted, "SOAP!, FLEA POWDER!, CLEAN UNDERWEAR!" on THIS side.

Because someone started talking coherently, making sense and putting paragraphs together in a grammatically-correct fashion on THIS side.

Because they ran out of cop cars to defacate on, on THIS side, and some fresh ones showed up on the other side.

Because NYCC/ACORN showed up with the paychecks for the Astroturfers™ on the other side

[*]Because Mickey Moore[on] showed up for another collective lesson in Zombie Activism that required a large group of 'turfers to "repeat after me..." on the other side.

[/*][*]Because Mickey Moore[on] showed up with large food stains on his 'wife-beater' T-shirt that screamed "FREE FOOD!" for hungry 'turfers, on the other side.[/*][/list]

View comments (19)