Eric McLean was diagnosed with leukemia in 2003. His illness has been a roller coaster of getting well and only to relapse several times.

Now, McLean has been told his condition is officially terminal.



McLean first began filming his “confessions” — video blogs — and posting them on YouTube in 2009. He talks about his condition, the treatment and everyday life.



Over the following years, he filmed more than 40 confessions taking you through his ups and downs. On Tuesday, he released his final confession.



He starts his last video post as he did many of the previous ones, saying “what’s up,” introducing himself and providing the date. Then McLean breaks down when he begins to share the title of this video — “Eric’s Confessions Final”. He films this last video in the same place where he shot his first, bringing it full circle saying, among his tears, “because this is the end.“ McLean provides the heartbreaking news to his followers detailing the devastating extent to which his cancer has spread and saying ”I’m in some of the worst pain you can imagine.”



He continues thanking those who have supported him and his family throughout his illness. He says that for someone with his type of cancer, the expected survival is 18 months — he battled for nearly 10 years. He seems at a loss for words saying he doesn’t know what to do.



“God, is it scary,” he said. “There is so much I want to say, so much… I’m 28 years old. I’m going to miss everyone. My family, brothers and my sister, my parents, my wife Carrie. I love you so much, babe, I love you so much.



“I tried so hard. I fought so hard. But the fight is over.”



McLean thanks Harley Davidson, the company he worked for as a program analyst. He calls it the “best company in the world.”



“I love you all. That’s it.”



“My doctor says I won. I won. I got to believe him. There’s nothing else I could have done. I fought to the end. I never said no. Anytime we wanted to try a new experimental drug or whatever it was, I stood up to the plate, I swung my bat as hard as I could. The ballgame is over guys. So, with that, I‘m going to say ’bye’ for the very last time. I love you all. Thank you all and I hope you live long, very happy lives. This is me saying peace, love.”



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I Hate cancer for what it is



I Hate cancer for what it does



I Hate cancer for the pain it causes



I Hate cancer for taking my little sister











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