Books Sarah Palin Wants Banned

The list of books that Sarah Palin opposed is a standard right-wing Christian hit list. There is nothing on the list that indicates that Palin put any thought into what she wanted banned from the library. Samuel Clemens' (Mark Twain) classic The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn stands out as its banning usually comes from the politically correct crowd that Palin and her allies are perpetually at war with, because of the use of the "N"-word.

Here are the books, and for a few of them, the reasons why the Christian right finds them objectionable:

Books Sarah Palin Wanted Banned

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (most un-Christian ultra-violence not in the cause of Christian warriors)

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (not sure why but I know a bannable book when I see it!)

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner ("N"-word and disrespectful to Confederacy)

The Bastard by John Jakes (its naughty title an attack on the idea of childbirth only after holy wedlock -- did you hear that, Bristol???)

Blubber by Judy Blume (general naughtiness, faintly salacious title)

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (utopianism and socialism)

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (unwholesome fantasy)

The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer (classic smut, or smoote, if you will; un-Christian depiction of female sexual desire)

Carrie by Stephen King (Christian girls shouldn't know about menstruation)

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller (mocks the military; disrespectful of God's calling to kill enemies, both foreign & domestic)

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (promotion of morbid individualism, lack of respect for caring, nurturing parents and teachers)

The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier (subversion of Christian fund-raising endeavors)

Christine by Stephen King (disrespectful of classic Detroit automobiles and sacred MADE IN USA in a Saipan Sweatshop" ethos)

The Color Purple by Alice Walker (attack on fundamental values keeping a Christian home and society together by well-known socialist)

Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau (Christian children shouldn't be exposed to masturbating Utopians who are ur-Communists)

Cujo by Stephen King (disrespectful of dogs, a Christian man's best friend)

Curses, Hexes, and Spells by Daniel Cohen (black magick!)

Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite (promotion of faggotry)

Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck (disrespectful of Christian values in denigrating "the other white meat"; promotion of un-Christian vegetarianism, which is particularly distasteful in gun 'n huntin' happy Alaska where Sarah Palin rules as Diana, Mistress of the Hunt)

Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller (mocking the American Dream and Protestant Work ethic; NOTE: Marilyn Monroe's commie-symp non-Christian ex-husband defied the House Un-American Activities Committee which was doing God's own work by attempting to clean out the Hollywood pig sty)

Decameron by Boccaccio (classic filth, or fylthe if you will)

The Devil's Alternative by Frederick Forsyth (provides comfort to Lucifer, the Son of the Morning Star, the Enemy of the One True God)

East of Eden by John Steinbeck (teenage rebellion, unauthorized interpretation of Book of Genesis, written by commie-symp)

Fallen Angels by Walter Myers (disrespectful of God's chosen agents of change)

Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure) by John Cleland (Dirty Book, or "D.B." if you will -- Along with Lady Chatterly's Lover and Tropic of Cancer, this is the granddaddy of all D.B.s!)

The Figure in the Shadows by John Bellairs ("figure" is a word that can be used for naughty ends to promote naughty minds)

Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes (debases belief in miracles)

Forever by Judy Blume (smut for teenagers)

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck (witches brew of socialism and smut; promotes cruelty to animals, specifically, our terrapin friends)

The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson

Grendel by John Gardner (bad language, disrespectful of classic Nordic literature no one has ever read)

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood (attack on author's Christian fundamentalist betters)

Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam (pagan evil)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling (see above)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling (ditto)

Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling (ditto)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling (ditto)

Have to Go by Robert Munsch

Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman (lesbian crap responsible for rising popularity of Ellen on boob tube)

The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Snyder

How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell (promotion of unsanitary eating habits)

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens mocked Christianity as the one true religion)

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (unacceptable indictment of white Christian paternalism towards our benighted dark brothers and sisters, one with us in Christ)

Impressions edited by Jack Booth (unknown, but author does share surname with authentic Confederate, er, American hero who fought tyranny!)

In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak (promotes un-Christian eating habits)

It's Okay if You Don't Love Me by Norma Klein (author is suspected to be non-Christian)

James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl (offended Georgia fruit lobby)

Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence (D.B., see note Fanny Hill)

The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks

Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman (unwholesome gay propaganda wholly injurious to young, developing Christian minds)

Little Red Riding Hood by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm

The Living Bible by William C. Bower (undermines the literal Word of God!)

Lord of the Flies by William Golding (see Note for It's Okay if You Don't Love Me)

Love is One of the Choices by Norma Klein (ditto)

Lysistrata by Aristophanes (it's a Greek thing and therefore unwholesome and un-Christian)

The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare (undermines the Christian ideal of the sanctity of a contract no matter who is party to the deal; on the other hand, it does feature a conversion to Christ)

More Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz (subversive)

My Brother Sam Is Dead by James L incoln Collier and Christopher Collier

My House by Nikki Giovanni

My Friend Flicka by Mary O'Hara (Papist pagan horse-worship by author with allegiance to anti-Christ in Rome)

The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman (kiddie porn!)

Night Chills by Dean Koontz

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (supports euthanasia for both man and beast)

On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer

One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn (not quite sure about this one but obviously, if the say it should be banned, I'm for banning it!)

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey (although its revelation of the Wall St.-money Easterners dominated "Combine" is appreciated, Kesey subverts American values by supporting euthanasia and offending the American Medical Association by an oblique attack on the medical profession via Big Nurse)

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (commie-symp trash)

Ordinary People by Judith Guest (glamorizes suicide and teenage lust!

Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women's Health Collective (pornography)

The Pigman by Paul Zindel

Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy (any book "good enough" for Barbra Streisand is good enough to be banned!)

Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl (filth)

Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones by Alvin Schwartz

Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz

The Seduction of Peter S. by Lawrence Sanders (the "S" word)

Separate Peace by John Knowles (glamorization of Eastern Establishment that is in league with communist Russia)

The Shining by Stephen King (promotion of un-Christian spiritual values such as telepathy; promotion of unhealthy disrespect for paternal figures; historical revisionism -- someone told me that the book was an indictment of Christian America's treatment of the pagan red Indian)

Silas Marner by George Eliot (undermines notions of Christian thrift and industry)

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (mocks good Christian warriors and the Good War)

Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs (attack on Christian values)

Then Again, Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume (D.B. writer targeting teens)

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee (undermines Christian values by questioning the "peculiar" order of things in the South, possibly ghost-written by notorious homosexual)

Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare (celebration of pagan values by cross-dressing English fairycake)

Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff (motherload of dirty words)

The Witches by Roald Dahl (Roald Dahl has a naughty mind!)

The Witches of Worm by Zilpha Snyder

Witches, Pumpkins, and Grinning Ghosts: The Story of the Halloween Symbols by Edna Barth (primer for pagans);cat=38

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