Quarantine – The Three Week Mark

I know.

We’ve been at this for like three weeks already.

People are stressed and let’s face it, they are slowly losing their $hit.

If ’re like our pal “Rosebud” here may have smashed your entire place up already or it’s probably coming soon.

No matter.

It’s expected during these trying times.

Especially if ’re gone through the Little Debbie Snack cakes and assorted other confectionary treats at the week and a half mark.

’re beyond fucked if haven’t replenished those supplies as maintaining a high glucose level is almost a necessity during times of stress. (/s)

Here are some other helpful quarantine tips so don’t climb the walls (if have any left to climb I mean):

1. Don’t smash up your shit. Smash up the shit of that nit wit down the street who always mows his lawn at 7AM on Saturday morning. If you’ve got a tractor or bulldozer make sure you fire up that GoPro as we all definitely want to see the vid before they cart you off to Farting Acres Rest Home .

2. Go fishing. It’s what I do. I’ve been heading out every Saturday and while I haven’t caught shit, it’s fun to get out there in the sun and curse and swear while your lures get stuck in trees. If can swing it, try and snag a lure on some gal’s Daisy Duke shorty jeans and reel in the big “catch”, vids definitely wanted from these exciting fishing adventures.

3. Go for a walk with the family. I mean they’re driving nuts anyway so why not take ‘em out to the park where might have a friendly audience to see exactly how hard and how fast they are driving nuts. ’ll probably see lots of guys out there who will readily nod as walk by as if to say “’re not the only one living the nightmare, pal, we know right what ’re thinking.”

4. Catch up on old plague films. Contagion. The Post Man. Night of the Living Dead. The Stand. The Stand happens to be one of my personal favorites as I’ve oddly rooted for both Stu Redman and Randall Flagg at the same time. Stu we like because he’s from Texas and we love Texans, Randall gets his plus points because all the whores wind up in Las Vegas, which, as we all know, isn’t a whole lot different from regular life. Mother Abigail I never really trusted. I know, she’s old and and plays guitar, but so is BB King. Now BB King would have made a cool ass fella to lead the good guys. My version of the Stand would obviously been way different but BB singing and playing “The Thrill is Gone” would have rocked that book (and film) to another dimension. M-O-O-N and that spells BB King.

5. Last but not least, can play “No Fap Plague Day”. The rules are can’t jerk off until the plague is over. So far, I’m about 2 hours into my latest attempt, but I have high hopes by sundown I won’t have lost yet another round.

Hope the plague is treating all well or as well can be.

So far I don’t know anyone who has died and I don’t know anyone who knows anyone who has died.

Kind of peculiar.

P.S. If my subject text above seems to be lacking words and looking like it was written by an illiterate , that’s the mods taking out words at random. Lately they take out the word “”. At this point I’m not sure if it’s intentional, but I always remember these words: “Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity.” I wonder sometimes if Hayden gives any kind of literacy test to the mods or just measures their IQ against a turnip and assumes that’s good enough. Maybe one he’ll tell us. Screen cap of my text is always included in my posts so can help make fun of the retards who actually approve and edit these posts.

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By: BobWhiteAtNight (7260.40)

Tags: quarantine, bb king, rosebud, fishing, walking, the plague

Location: United States