Satire: What if we replace 'Russia' and 'Syria' in the news discourse with 'USA' and 'France'?

Some time ago, I made a satirical piece in the form of two news articles, in which Russia traded places with United States, France/Germany traded places with Syria/Libya, and 'Western influence' was replaced with 'Axis of Evil'. Enjoy:

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#1

In an alarming crackdown on human rights, the US Senate recently adopted a law that NGOs funded by Axis of Evil and seeking to influence American politics have to register as "foreign agents".

A director of NKREA*, a prominent NGO, had given the following interview to Voice Of Freedom News**:

“This is an egregious violation of political freedoms. Even tyrannical governments of Canada, Mexico and Brazil did not stoop to such measures, while we organized violent protests and installed Pro-North Korean governments.
I mean, doesn’t FBI have better things to do, like hunt moonshiners? Our declared purpose is merely overthrow of US government by any means necessary, it's not like we’re smoking pot or anything.
How are the people of United States supposed to want political change if they’re not being paid for it by Iran***? And how are we supposed to operate without North Korean intelligence officers? It’s not like we can find activists with a similar level of experience in regime change right here in the US.”

Notes:
* “https://books.google.com/books?id=iHe7dRxjsYIC&;amp;pg=PA17&dq=%22aim+to+introduce+European+values%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiAk5a36vDKAhVEFx4KHZkCCiIQ6AEIHTAA#v=onepage&q=%22aim%20to%20introduce%20European%20values%22&f=false”
** www.liveleak.com/view?i=e6f_1454212372
*** The whole piece refers to www.rferl.org/content/russia-ngos-foreign-agents-warning/271 around https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_foreign_agent_law law saying that foreign-funded entities seeking to affect Russian politics have to register as “foreign agents”. Hilariously, USA has been enforcing a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_Agents_Registration_Ac.

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#2

Clashes between Sacrosy’s regime and Islamist insurgents continue in France.

The secular government is obviously to blame for this war, caused by its unwillingness to surrender to www.globalresearch.ca/daraa-2011-syrias-islamist-insurrectio.
www.globalresearch.ca/daraa-2011-syrias-islamist-insurrectio
Moreover, the French government has www.globalresearch.ca/war-propaganda-and-the-dirty-war-on-sy by using tanks and warplanes against the rebels. For example, when insurgents are shooting from a room, the government troops frequently blow up the room, injuring unarmed civilians such as mortar spotters and ammo bearers. Instead, the government soldiers and police officers should fight fairly by charging the rebels in human waves and restraining them with tasers and plush handcuffs.

Despite setbacks on the frontlines and polls revealing far lower support among the population, the islamist rebels recently won a major diplomatic victory when UN recognized them as the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coalition_for_Syrian_.

However, the prime minister of French Islamic government just resigned over the election of a new French Islamic president, saying, quote:

“It’s some random dude that just shipped in from North Korea. Allah the Merciful, they could at least pretend actual locals are involved in this insurgency. I mean, it’s not that hard to find a figurehead.”

Despite lack of consensus among the insurgents, the UN passed a resolution calling on all member states to give any and all support possible to the rebels. Unfortunately, direct military intervention is not currently possible, as the armies of Axis of Evil went over budget destroying the military of Germany during Islamic takeover last year.

The UN also passed a resolution condemning United States for selling modern anti-aircraft missiles to the French government, because these inhumane weapons could be used to shoot down North Korean warplanes dropping humanitarian aid on French cities.

A spokesman for the insurgency expressed confidence in the eventual triumph of freedom, saying “The government may be able to beat us on the battlefield and at the voting booth, but it can't stop us from turning the country into a raging shithole. We’re indiscriminately mortaring Paris even now. They’re running out of money, trained men, safe bases.
Our money comes from North Korea, our trained men come from Iran, our bases are located right over the border in Spain. Even if we won’t win, we can surely drag this on forever, keeping the world safe from French secularism, independent foreign policy, or www.dailykos.com/story/2013/9/8/1237500/-The-PetroDollar-Why”.

Spokesman then had to run as he is wanted for terrorism by Interpol.

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FURTHER READING



www.liveleak.com/view?i=e63_1440394961

Added:

By: Tatzhit (575.90)

Tags: humor, tatzhit, news bias, syria, russia, US government, RFE

Location: United States

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