The latest CIA intel from the border region of Pakistan has been released by the Whitehouse today. The video is of good quality and shows a new training method for front line Taliban forces. The main cause of death for the Taliban is currently the AH-64 Apache used by the USA and UK forces in Afghanistan. This cutting edge warplane can see in pitch darkness and from many miles away. Most of the engagments take the Taliban by complete suprise and due to this they have developed the 'Alach al hamimm' or 'run like fuck' evasion method.
As can clearly be seen in this video the procedure is to at first move off slowly and build up speed whilst constantly looking over your shoulder and screaming like a girl. This advanced manuver can be performed by all members of a Taliban patrol, or at least all those left after the initial strike.
US Army General Max Cuntenburger stated that the running machine 'was in no way a substitute for one of my Apaches chasing you at 20 feet whilst trying to push 20mm shells up your ass'.
The CIA have commented on the release saying 'Pakistan only has 3 running machines, 2 of which are having servicability issues after being fitted with Iranian made parts.'
The Pakistan government say they know nothing.
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