"Major Setback" Looming Over United States Solar Industry
Published 10/28/2012 /JOMNews
by Juan Jung
-Chief Technology Correspondent

Silicon Valley, CA - Analysts speculate that the solar panel industry in the United States may soon take a major hit that some are already calling "the next big slump". Surprisingly, the source of the problem has nothing to do with the economy. The United States had been on track to increase its solar capacity by more than a gigawatt within the next seven months , but now solar farms across the United States are already within the initial stages on slowdown and there is an estimated 12,000 layoffs coming to the solar industry in an economy that is already shaky on its feet.

But why is the solar industry facing such a threat? What could possibly affect such a promising technological and sustainable method of generating electric power? Is it the economy, no. Mineral imports from China, no? Refusal to adapt new technology, no? The answer may shock you but it has more to do with the obesity epidemic.


CNN's Candy Crowley is a political correspondent and presidential debate moderator with years of experience at Chinese buffets, The Golden Corral, Outback Steakhouse and she knows her way around a catering platter of ham sandwiches. However, Candy's knack for snack has many in the solar industry worried that her hind end may soon be so large, it will block out the sun for up to 65% of the northern hemisphere, leaving mankind to wander in the dark with no way to grow their crops and will inevitably face the same fate as the dinosaurs.

Scientists link the so called "sweet tooth" to an inheritable dominant trait usually passed down from the father's side on the Y chromosome. It has been widely reported that Candy's sweet tooth had been rumored to have come down from Candy's father, from his father, Aliester.
Candy's grandfather, Aliester Crowley was a notorious heroin addict, occult author, total spoiled rich kid and an ever notorious candy-a-holic. Candy's name in fact was a tribute to her late grandfather's love of eating candy will drinking menstrual blood and screwing goats.

Note the resemblance.




Note the fat.