After decades of bending over backwards, the US is hoping that full on oral sex may better appease its demanding ally
The Obama administration has promised to provide Israel with 2.3 billion fellatios – also known as “blow jobs” – as recompense for failing to stop the rest of the world from voting Palestine into UNESCO.
The 2.3 billion fellatios are expected to be performed personally by
President Obama himself – a feat that would take him approximately 30631
years to complete, presuming the average time to orgasm from fellatio
is seven minutes.
At this time it remains unclear whether any
single human being is capable of ingesting that much Israeli seminal
fluid, even if over a period of thirty millennia. Nevertheless, Obama
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