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My letter to Rocco_Maximus

Rocco Maximus, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.
So when someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. ..... End of debate.
I do need advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific law and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9.
The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? Will she fetch more if she has a Degree?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24.
The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women really get pissed.
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.
Why does this apply to Mexicans, but not Canadians? Can you help me? Why can't I own Canadians?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on chopping firewood on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him?
6. Eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10. Is it a lesser? abomination than homosexuality? I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. If one might wear reading glasses or does ourvision have to be perfect, is there some room here?
8. Most of my friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev 20:14)
I know you have studied these things, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
Remember, all the world's a stage - be on it -

 
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Added: Sep-13-2011 Occurred On: Sep-13-2011
By: leez27
In:
Liveleak Challenges
Tags: bible, preaching, Hinn, Swaggert, Rocco Maximus
Marked as: approved
Views: 1147 | Comments: 22 | Votes: 4 | Favorites: 2 | Shared: 0 | Updates: 0 | Times used in channels: 2
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