So I heard this week that all the nations of the world are anxiously awaiting the melting of the polar ice caps due to the fact that there are vast oil reserves beneath the miles of ice. Russia even planting a flag on the north pole under the ice via robotic sub. They claimed it in the name of Mother Russia. So this got me thinking.

Apparently the ice caps are melting (if you listen to Forest Al Gore) however the biggest draw back is that the fresh water would dilute the salty sea water killing vast species of sea creatures and mermaids. Oh yeah and New York would be under water too. Like that would be a bad thing.

So last night I had what you might call an Epiphany. How can we get to the oil without waiting for nature to take its course and melt the ice. And how can we make sure the fresh water doesn't destroy the salty ecosystem. That's when it came to me. The Great Salt Drop!! What we do is start airlifting billions of tons of salt and start dropping it on the arctic ice shelf. Hell salt is everywhere. I figure we start by digging up salt in Utah and California. By dropping the salt on the ice we can speed up the natural process of melting the ice yet, salinizing the water so that the Eco system will be saved.

Once the ice shelf is clear and the water is salty, the sea cratures and mermaids will be happy once again, let the drilling begin! Think about it. It's gonna take a lot of salt so imagine how many new jobs that will create! Millions. Then even with the ice caps melted (which was the biggest worry of AlGore) we have uncovered the largest deposit of oil and gas in the history of the word thus creating more jobs. How do you ask? We'll i'll tell you. "Thanks for asking." With the sudden tidal wave of oil (no pun intended) there will be a clamoring for large SUV type vehicles thus returning Detroit to the Mecca of Industry It once was. It's a perfect plan. Oh yeah I almost forgot. There will be a great war between many countries for ownership of the oil. And what are wars good for? You betcha! More jobs.

We will need more Ships, tanks, missiles, bombs and $1,000.00 hammers. It will be like the eighties all over again. America is back to work. We have all the oil we need. The fish have their salt and ... what am i forgetting. Oh yeah, New York Is under water. It's a win win for all of us!!!
No lets get to work America. Daddy needs a new hummer.

Michael Ferrari
Holly Wood City Desk Editor.