How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
You were asked that question at least once in your life and laughed it off as a funny tongue twister, but did you seriously wonder what the answer was? Well, wonder no more...
Woodchucks Chucking Wood
The woodchuck could chuck as much wood as he wanted! By the way what is a woodchuck? Is it like a gopher? This is difficult question to answer. The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on
More.. a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.
Some say it depends on three factors:
* The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.
* The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.
* The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.
Others say:
* He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!
* A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.
* If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.
* One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.
* It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.
* Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.
* It depends on how good his dentures are!
* A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.
* About 5.72 fluid litres of wood
* About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.
* Um....... 23????
* Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more would than a woodchuck.
* If the woodchuck's name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wanted to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be allowed.
* Due to the average size of a wood chuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a wood chuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the wood chuck is functioning correctly.
* Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3 units of wood.
* "Sixteen and 1/2 board feet a day except on groundhog's day since groundhog is another name for wood chuck."- This answer is according to no less an authority than the 'Junior Wood Chucks Guidebook', a publication often consulted by Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck and referred to yet again by them in answering this very same question.
* How Chuck Norris got involved-A woodchuck would only chuck as much would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck could.
* None because a wood chuck cannot chuck wood! :P
* Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds. So there.
* 2.865 lbs every 11.3686 Seconds?
* it depends how good his dentures are!!!
* As much as he needed to be satisfied
* But the true jokey answer, as told by my grandfather is: As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* a woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
* Are you kidding? Everybody knows a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* But it definitely couldn't chuck Chuck Norris.
* A group of people actually did a study on this. None of the wood chucks ate any wood planks so they never upchucked it but some of them chucked them (threw them) at people.
Less..
Added: Nov 3 2009 In: leak
Recorded on: Nov 3 2009
By: Whiskey_Tango_Foxtrot 
- Views: 830 |
- Votes: 0 |
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- Comments: 13
Comments - sort by newest to oldest
They make excellent target practics for my 25 06 and 270 winchester.
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "Awsomatic" (R)
Don't know but my mate Edwood Woodwood would know!
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "rjmain" (R)
Judging from the photo, that zombie woodchuck is more interested in eating peoples' brains than in chucking wood.
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "john731863" (R)
Can a woodchuck sport wood?
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "migs1955" (R)
ahha
good one wtf!
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "xmas_one" (R)
I knew the FRM factor would come up..
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "timerider2009" (R)
There just has to be somebody named, Chuck Wood, out there.
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "gregory_peckory" (R)
How many ducks would chuck norris **** if chuck norris wanted to **** ducks?
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "gotchabackgebeck" (R)
stupid
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "ddrukus" (R)
I don't know how a woodchuck "chucks" wood in the first place.
What is "chucking" actually? Is it similar to F**king?
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "kamotz" (R)
When I was asked that question as a kid, I wish I could have used this as an answer. But the I learned later on in life that the real meaning behind this question was in reference to asking a stupid question. I guess my answer would still be the same.
STFU!
Posted Nov-3-2009 by "Rocket_Smoke" (R)
42.
Posted Nov-4-2009 by "juchat" (R)
bwaaahh
Posted Nov-4-2009 by "drc72"