Kenneth Guillespie, 64, a professional drunk from Blackburn, England was hard at work when he noticed a snowman on the way home. He then decided to carve out a hole and have sex with the snowman while continuing his bender. By the time he was "done", bottles littered the ground, the snowman was destroyed, and Kenneth was screaming because his junk had gotten frostbite. As if this wasn't enough of a lesson, apparently the entire community is ready to lynch Kenneth for what he did to the children's snowman:
Ian Jessop of the Ramsgreave and Brownhill Community Security said: “If that dirty fucker comes back here after what he did. I won’t be responsible for the reaction of the community."

“Several people have already vowed to dismember him after what he did to the kids’ snowman.”

“He left” a pile of empty bottles, a wrecked snowman and a trail of frozen man-juice in the middle of the community recreation ground.”

“This bugger’s worse than Jimmy Savile.”