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IL state police self-defense advice for women: vomit, resistance is futile, and scream.

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The Annie Le murder has given us recent cause to discuss the option (or mandated lack of one) for armed self-defense, particularly by females. That in turn reminded me of a piece I wrote three years back about advice from the Illinois State Police on personal defense. For background, understand two things:

The Illinois state Bill of Rights promises “Subject only to the police power, the right of the individual citizen to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

Square that with Illinois being one of only two states with no provision for concealed carry by "ordinary" citizens (some claim a loophole, but there are personal legal risks carrying serious criminal charges). I guess that's what they mean by subject to police power. You're a subject and you're in their power.

So what do the Illinois State Police suggest a woman should do? Here's a link to their website, just so you can see for yourself I'm not making this stuff up.

They tell us fighting back may "cancel any other options," since your attacker may only wish to "degrade and humiliate" you.

How? Rape? About the only thing more degrading and humiliating than that is being helpless when they drag your child into it. You wouldn't want to limit such options by fighting, would you?

They give an unsubstantiated anecdote about "a would-be-victim" [sic] who played the pregnancy card for sympathy, knowing what a cherished and central role fatherhood and unborn life plays in the priorities of predator sociopaths.

Hey, here's an idea! Tell your rapist you have an STD! And hope his response isn't "That's OK, baby, so do I."

Then there's this SUPER defense tip-- Vomit! Do something disgusting involving bodily fluids! And in their words:

Use your imagination and you can think of others.

For instance, I suppose you could BLEED!

But here's their most important tip:

Use of a firearm to protect yourself or property is not recommended.

Oh, Heavens, no. Besides, you're not an Illinois "Only One."

I'll continue this tomorrow. If you can believe it, it gets worse.


We left off in part one yesterday with some important self-defense tips from the Illinois State Police for women subjected to a violent physical attack. Boiled down to its essentials, the advice is to tell your assailant you have AIDS and force yourself to vomit, but never, ever try to ward him off with a gun.

Aside from the sickening truth that Illinois legislators have made prohibiting such a practice enforceable by the people telling you to hurl instead, why might this be their position?

At one time, the ISP website passed on a rather remarkable bit of information:

"Half of all the women that fire a gun trying to protect themselves shoot someone they do not want to, i.e., friends. neighbors, relatives, etc."

It's remarkable because it's utter, unsubstantiated bull, with no foundation in any study, let alone reality. My guess is someone took liberties with conclusions from the flawed Kellermann surveys and tried to mold them into a justification for Illinois cops being armed and the rest of us not being. Still, the way this page is written, I can't discount simple misinterpretation due to ignorance, so I'm not outright accusing whoever who posted and approved it of being willful liars.

Fortunately, career-minded command officers are not immune to embarrassment, so after a bit of ridicule from the gun rights community, they removed the warning against guns and the justification from their website--with as little fanfare as the changing of a discredited anti-gun governor's name.

Just note they still don't advise anyone actually use a gun. They can't. They do, however, present abject and unconditional surrender as an option should your assailant brandish one:

Fighting would probably be futile.

Welcome to the Borg collective. You will be assimilated.

Tomorrow, we'll finish this off with some Illinois State Police fighting tips that assume your raging attacker is as unarmed as you are, and merely comes to the fight with twice your body mass, three times your strength, years of experience in street-level physical confrontations and a serious, drug-induced imperviousness to pain.

Bring some keys and a rat tail comb!
Some relevant blog history:

We're the only ones who think women are too incompetent to use a gun for defense

Illinois State Police promote rapists' safety

Illinois state police advice on resisting rape


In part one of our analysis of the Illinois State Police advice page for women confronted by violent predators, we learned, at least according to the enforcers of "Land of Lincoln" citizen disarmament policies, that vomit can be a girl's best friend. In part two, they got all "Borg collective" on us, and told us resistance by the fair sex is futile against an armed attacker.

The assumption is defensive gun uses won't come into play. Because as the ISP apparently believes (along with indignant anti-defense zealots who disparage the effectiveness of guns in women's hands), there just aren't too many people in general and females in particular competent enough to handle a complex and manly firearm without endangering everyone around them. Where do the dear little things get such foolish notions in their sweet little heads?

Unless, of course, they're "Only One-ettes," and then the badge magically transforms them into Wonder Woman--at least until nature calls.

In today's Gun Rights Examiner column, I'd like to look at what ISP tells us when they finally admit that sometimes, a woman must literally fight for her life.

Be aware of those times and places where there is a potential for attack and be prepared to defend yourself.


Easy. Use a:

* nail file
* rat tail comb
* teasing brush
* pens and pencils
* keys
* anything rigid

Right. A gun will just endanger you and everyone else, but there's nothing quite as persuasive as poking an enraged, crack-fueled psycho possessing three times your upper body strength with a teasing brush to reestablish control of a situation. And don't worry if you can't find "anything rigid"--your attacker will be happy to come up with something for you.

And lest anyone think this is a reversal of my previously-stated CUM ULLA SELLA IN PUGNO TABERNA advocacy, it's really not. It's merely an expression of outrage that victims are forced under penalty of law to improvise inferior weapons that give attackers the advantage. Still, it does make it easy to see why the ISP considers resistance against attackers who ignore those citizen disarmament edicts futile.

Which brings us to the final bit of advice they offer for warding off real-world demons:

Remember that screaming may be just as important to your defense as any weapon.

Yes, by all means, scream. Howl in animal madness as everything human is stripped from you, and the only perceptions you experience are agony and terror.

The ISP would rather that be the outcome than allowing you to carry a gun around, because as we've seen time and again, you're neither as competent nor as trustworthy as Illinois "Only Ones."

And hey, if you survive, come back and visit their website any time. Be sure and check out their "Vision and Values," and remember:

We will strive for excellence in all we do...


Illinois state police advice on resisting rape
Posted by David Hardy · 6 April 2007 10:06 PM

And a hilarious read it is.

"Use of a firearm to protect yourself or property is not recommended."

So what do you do?

"Since many attacks on women are not sexually motivated, and are designed to degrade and humiliate, talking your way out of it may be easier."

"There is documentation of assailants that left a would-be-victim alone after she told him that she was pregnant and it would kill her baby. "

"Telling an attacker that you have VD or AIDS can discourage him."

"It may sound disgusting, but putting your fingers into you (sic) throat and making yourself vomit usually gets results." (I swear I am not making this up).

And if you do go for a weapon, by all means don't make it a 1911! Instead:

"nail file
rat tail comb
teasing brush
pens and pencils

I can see it: "Stay away, I have this comb and am prepared to use it." "Freeze or I'll let you have it with this pencil."

[Update: I have no idea where the article's claim that half the women using a gun in defense will shoot the wrong person comes from. The surveys indicate that well under half of self-defenders who shoot (a tiny minority of self-defense uses) hit the target, simply because confrontations occur with both people jittery and often at night when aiming is difficult. Additionally, criminal confrontations rarely occur in front of witnesses. Between the two, hitting the wrong person 50% of the time, or even 5% of the time, is statistically impossible. I think I've heard of a defender hitting the wrong target -- zero times in my life].

Click to view image: '8a54671312b4-3_scream.jpg'

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Added: Sep-23-2009 
By: HydrogenEconomy
Tags: IL, state, police, advice, women, self, defense, vomit, scream, resistance, futile
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