One Got Fat 1963 Bicycle Safety Exploitation Film

Narration by Edward Everett Horton of "Fractured Fairytales" (Old Rocky and Bullwinkle) fame.

One Got Fat is a bicycle safety film made in 1963. The film is about ten kids, dressed in monkey masks and tails, more about that later, that ride their bikes to the park for a picnic. Eight of the kids meet grisly deaths because they don’t follow specific bike safety rules. Rules like, only rides on right side of street, don’t ride with someone on your handlebars, yield to pedestrians, and keep your bike tuned up. All very important rules in bike safety.

In fact do you know what happens to you if you don’t keep your bike tuned up? You get ran over by a steam roller. It’s true, watch the video. You know what happens when you don’t license and or register your bike with the proper authorities? Police can’t find it when you report it stolen. Then you have to run the one to nine blocks to the park in your monkey mask and your arches collapse. Then you know what happens? Your shoes start on fire. Not as bad as dieing, but very weird. Also in the video. If you ride with someone on your handlebars, well lets just say, I hope you like dieing in the sewer. Watch the video.

Lets talk about bicycle safety. Can we all agree here that maybe riding a bike in a monkey mask, that restricts your vision, might not be a good idea? In fact, maybe if Fil wasn’t wearing that mask, he might have saw that steam roller sooner, and had time to stop. Maybe sans monkey masks all nine make it to the park fine. I’m just putting it out there.

One kid does make it to the park, and because he had a basket on his bike he arrives with all the lunches. Not fazed by the reality of watching eight of his friends die on this journey, he eats all the food and gets fat. Hence the name, One Got Fat.