Erwin, NC - While Linda Mason was in a Chapel Hill hospital for cancer treatment, someone broke into her Erwin home. The thief stole food, bed linens, decorations… even the Christmas tree! Now, stealing Christmas from a cancer patient is bad enough - but when the thief is the patient’s daughter, it’s even worse. Heather Mason Calderon, 35, was arrested Monday and charged with the crime.

Whatever possessed Calderon to break into her mother’s home and steal everything? Food I can kind of understand. Many’s the time I’ve popped in on my loving parents’ kitchen for a meal or three. But sheets? Decorations? The Christmas tree?

Did she slither and slink with a smile most unpleasant? Did she go ’round the room and steal every present? Because clearly she didn’t stop until she stole her mom’s feast. She stole her mom’s pudding! She stole her roast beast! She took all the food and the linens with glee. “And now,” grinned the daughter, “I’ll stuff up the tree!”

I know. Dr. Seuss is appalled. So am I.

Heather Mason Calderon is charged with felony breaking and entering to commit larceny. Unfortunately, there’s not an additional Grinch charge for stealing her cancer patient mother’s Christmas decorations. And get this, denizens - when Calderon was arrested, police served an outstanding warrant for… you guessed it! More breaking and entering!

Yeah, this one’s a real winner. I’m sorry your daughter is a complete loser, Mrs. Mason. I hope you get well soon, and have a little bit of a merry Christmas anyway. Heather Calderon is being held in the Harnett County Jail on $12,000 bond.