CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES REFUGEE SHIP IN... WAIT...
CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?
By Fuego Rescate
Date: Thursday Aug. 12, 2010 2:47 PM PT

BC Coast -- Canadian television reported Friday that Canadian warships off the BC Coast have seized and boarded a Refugee Ship the MV Sun, leading many in the World to suspect that the report was a hoax.



"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Presidential Press Secretary Robert Gibbs when questioned earlier by reporters.He then added, "Like for war?"

"Does Canada know this?" he added.

"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Aabilesh Poochincartin, first mate of the seized vessel MV Sun. "We saw these frigates steaming toward us, and we were really worried,we were like,"Oh Crap! Warships heading our way!", but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, we relaxed and thought, 'Oh, it's just Canadians. What a relief! What the hell do they want?"

When an officer of the HMCS Winnipeg announced that the refugee ship was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship were confused, said Aabilesh Poochincartin, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadians sailors were carrying.

"They were armed. With guns!" said First Mate Aabilesh Poochincartin. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

" But that's not the worst of it. They were pretty rude, too," Aabilesh Poochincartin added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like 'Are there any Tamil Terrorists on board,Eh?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn guns and the warships!"


According to Canadian defense officials,Two Canadian Forces vessels, the HMCS Winnipeg and HMCS Whitehorse, have been escorting the ship toward the shore for several hours.

Five RCMP vessels also left harbour on Thursday carrying armed men. Mounties would not provide details on their activities fearing the public outcry of actually having firearms.An unnamed RCMP official said privately, "They may have been armed, but are never actually loaded with any ammunition. This should be a no brainer for any Canadian,Eh?"

Later, some of the passengers of the Refugee Ship were transported to shore to be met with large Canadian signs saying,"Welcome Tamil Terrorists!" The Canadian Chapter of the Happy Canada Welcome Wagon and Drum Corps Society gave out Gift Baskets to the suspected Tamil Terrorists, which included items such a Maple Syrup, Poutine,Hockey Pucks,Ear plugs and Moosehead Beer. Celine Dion was on hand to serenade those suspected terrorists as well. Many of the suspected Tamil Terrorists were seen tearing into the Ear Plug gift assortment.Fun was had by all.

The United Nations Security Council said the incident is already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns and warships. Initial findings indicate that the HMCS Winnipeg and HMCS Whitehorse crews may have been watching too many American television shows.